October is most definitely one of my favorite months of the year. I don’t just say that because I was born in October. I say this because I am a sucker for Halloween, all things dark and illicit, and the crisp weather of autumnal dusks. October has certainly brought many gifts but I can also pinpoint some times where October has been sad or less festive for me. One of the times I remember, my father went to the emergency room just as I was getting ready to celebrate my birthday at a pub. My Pa had to go into the ER because he had a painful kidney stone. October was also when I decided to end the relationship with my daughter's father. October has other sweet memories recalled as often as I can.
October is very good to me. One thing I will attribute October to is the start of Creative Cyn. I had the idea to do this for quite some time. Quarantine life forced me to face many demons and settle into the uncomfortable spaces I needed to explore. I can’t say I’m a novice at using my voice, but I’m definitely not an expert— I’m still learning. Using my voice is a scary thing because I often attribute my words to difficult situations where they were hurtful or misunderstood. Judgement followed the sentiment and that created turmoil within. A lot of energy goes into using your voice and there are a lot of ways to go about it. So here I am starting this blog and expanding on the process of using my voice—however static, angry, tender or earnest. These are all choices left up to me.
I will remember this October as a milestone where I feel loved, successful, beautiful, grateful and valued. Where happiness is abundant and purpose is starting to flood in. My intention is to continuously explore this process by authentically engaging with myself, creating and sharing my voice for the highest good. In closing Halloween of a complicated 2020, I want to create this portal to the many spaces of my mind. If many or far fewer read, I will be content with this little piece of me floating through the ether waiting to be someone’s bright light on a dark hour.
Hi!! I am so impressed and inspired with this beautiful space of exploration! Like u I have had in the past this tendency to focus on the negative emotions. Real things that happened and at the same time useless to keep on reviving over and over thing is some times it feels like I am trap in a never ending loop. I am glad I can see here how you r braking through and learn different ways to come around my things! Thank u for this space!